Motionless

There are those times, when it feels like the world around you stops turning. It’s an evening, an afternoon, or possibly a night, and you’re confronted with yourself, your life, and silence. What would you do when you don’t have to do anything? (or should be studying but don’t feel like it).

I chose to watch a movie. Called Yes man. About a man who was challenged to say yes to everything proposed to him by other people. It made him very happy. But, 56 minutes into the movie and a few spoons of ben & jerry’s later, I realized that watching this movie wasn’t making me happy. And i question if writing this blog is. I don’t really know what I want to do.

The past days I’ve been talking to people about having a sense of purpose, and how it can affect your life positively. Without purpose there’s really no use in living, except for aimlessly wandering around. So when one of those days occurs for me, I make a list of things I would like to get done for that day, and make sure I do ‘em all before crashing on the couch behind my laptop and forgetting I have a life outside of the internet. Newsflash: writing down that you’re gonna have an 2-hour study session doesn’t guarantee that you will.

And it worries me, it does. But there are other more important things. For instance, I spent the day talking to God, which was amazing. There’s nothing that satisfies me more than feeling his presence, and it’s amazing to just talk with him without struggling to hear an answer. (i refer you to my post; skypen met god, in dutch) Meanwhile the year is almost over and I’m pretty satisfied about my life up until now. But I don’t want simple satisfaction. I want adventure, guts, love, passion. FIRE.

So meet me where dreams turn into to-do lists. Don’t give up on your passions, don’t give up on being you.

You light the fire in my eyes.

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Gift Season

It’s amazing! Een tijdje geleden had ik in een blog een verlanglijstje gemaakt, van dingen die ik graag wilde hebben. Ik zei dat ik er later een update over zou geven, omdat jezus vaak op een leuke manier voorziet in cadeautjes voor mij. Het is een maand later nu, en dit was mijn lijstje;

– Een camera

– Een soort Ipod touch

– Een ketting

– Een diamanten ring

Ondertussen heb ik 3 van de 4 dingen gekregen, in een maand! Namelijk een iphone (camera en ipod toch in één) en een ketting. God is goed, en vervult mijn verlangens! En niet alleen mijn verlangens naar spullen. Maar ik weet gewoon dat ik me nooit zorgen zal hoeven te maken om geld of spullen, omdat God daarin voorziet voor mij. God will provide according to the riches of glory in Christ Jesus.

nieuw lijstje!!!

– Nieuwe fiets

– Mooie tas

– Ring

Ik heb nu al zin in volgende maand! En ooit plaats ik nog een update hierover. JIj bent gods grootste cadeautje.

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Dolphins vs. your heart.

You can’t blog about something that’s still hidden deep within your heart.

Something you haven’t talked about with anyone yet.

You wouldn’t make a public announcement  in your school or workplace about the deep issues in your heart, wouldn’t you?

The result of that would be loneliness.

Everybody knows everything about you, but nobody knows you.

The writings of your heart would be as accesible as a clip about a cat twirling, or some picture of a dolphin.

I think it’s important to not let social media replace your social life. Don’t let posting your issues replace telling people about them.

You are valuable. People care. People will make an effort to get to know you.

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My (new) opinion.

I recently reblogged a blog from the matt-walsh-blog. (http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/11/25/married-men-your-porn-habit-is-an-adultery-habit/)  After re-reading it and thinking about it, I came to some personal conclusions, which I would like to share with you.

Personally, I’m not really excited about the blog. Yes, I believe pornography is harmful, and it is better to be avoided. I do believe it’s a kind of adultery, and it breaks stuff. And that’s why I myself don’t look at it. but does my conviction give me the right to uncontrollably jugdge others? Moreover, the fact that it’s harmful is really all the blog says. I doubt that reading this blog will actually help peope who are addicted to watching it. Wouldn’t it just create a guilt-driven mindset? He is right to state the harmful effects that can come from this phenomenon,but I think he doesn’t really get to the core of the issue. Why do people watch pornography? What do they actually need? What does it say about a marriage when this article is relevant? And most of all, what can you do about it?

The article is judgemental, and as long as it judges the existence of pornography I support that, but I think it’s very close to actually judging the people who are watching it. Yes, maybe some need a reality-check, but I don’t see any answers that are provided for those people.

So how should people deal with this issue, and what are some of the answers? Maybe that’s something for a next blog, or a personal conversation, but I admit, it’s way easier to judge than to help. I think that’s something that should change. You might feel satisfied when you judge people who watch pornography, maybe because you’ve been sincerely hurt by it. I think there are a lot of women (or men) who have been really hurt because their partners watched something like it, Still, it is not the answer to just condemn all those people.

Why do you think these addictions exist? It’s because people need stuff! They need love, and comfort.

So, having said that, I would like to apologise. I have more than often plainly judged people watching pornography, but without truly understanding the real issues behind it. It was more because of my own dislike towards it, and my own pain that I found in the effects of it that I became somewhat bitter, and I forgot that the it’s the sin that you’re supposed to hate, and not the people.

I’m not trying to make excuses, but I’m encouraging you to look behind your own trauma and bitterness with this issue, and look at the hearts of people struggling with it, and maybe you’ll find that they’re just human beings with sincere desires just like you and me. Maybe we could use the energy we now use to judge, to actually love these people struggling, and to make a difference in their lives.